I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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