I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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