he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
