that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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