she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
