Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
