I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
