She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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