i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize