Come see our sink grown plant.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize