Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
