I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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