quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
That's when you crack a 10am beer
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
