We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
