Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
