dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
