That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
