break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
