No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
