you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
