Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
