closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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