Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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