i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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