it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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