Me too!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
