Do vagina's smell?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
