Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
