we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
