Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
