last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize