You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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