like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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