Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
