Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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