you win again, gameday.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
