Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
