Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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