Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
