he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize