so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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