why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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