my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
