what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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