STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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