I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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