I smell stomach acid.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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