Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
