just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
