Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
