and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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