just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
