Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
