i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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