booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
