Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
