Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
