Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
