Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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