It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i wish my penis had a tongue
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
