The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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