On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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