My Higher Power is John Stamos
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
zippers are such a cool invention
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
