Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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