8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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