If i come over, it means nothing
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
