My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
