those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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