you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
