Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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